Share - How to Choose a Romantic Partner
This is such a great post from Rob Henderson on How to Choose a Romantic Partner! It is full of actionable words, resources, and books on the subject to support you on your journey of finding that soulmate and special one.
For those of you like me that are in the same boat, dating and waiting on the one. Rob speaks directly to, and references the work of others that clarifies the red flags and green flags to look out for.
I know the Siren Song well myself on my Odysseus-like journey, and the nightmare that can ensue when I choose the wrong partner. My breakup with my last girlfriend bloody well almost killed me. All the red flags were there, yet I ignored them because I did not know any better at that time.
On the flip side of this: I recently was pursuing a woman and was able to spot the red flags immediately. I stopped pursuing her, and was able to see the dark cloud around her after I walked away. A week or so later, I met a woman who twirls when she gets close to me!
This was one of the most painful breakups and experiences I have ever had in my life. It unlocked trauma that was buried in me from childhood, and was lock-step with the abusive, neglectful, and toxic family dynamics I was born into. When one has a bad template for relationships, we tend to default to not being deserving or worthy of love, dignity, respect, and healthy relationships.
I don’t want to go through this type of heartache again, and am committed to learning and growing in this area, and working through and learning how to take care of myself in this area of life. I don’t want my future children and our family to have to endure what me and my sister did as children.
Here is my favorite quote from the end of the post:
“This perspective on relationships underscores the importance of mutual support and shared growth. The notion of the “special woman” and “special man” transcends the conventional understanding of romantic partnerships, emphasizing a deeper, more harmonious connection. This link is not solely about love or attraction or sex; it is about finding a partner who understands, encourages, and participates in your life journey. Such a relationship becomes a crucible for personal and professional development, where both individuals are not just companions but co-architects of a shared future.”
Straight Up & Free with James D is a reader supported publication.
If you found this valuable and educational, and appreciate the craftsmanship and care I bring in providing this content, please consider upgrading your subscription to support my work. You can also give a gift subscription, or make a one time donation.
Thank you!