Codependency is some Crap
Whether we like it or not, we are all dependent on other forms of life to sustain ourselves and thrive here on plant earth. We depend on each other as humans.
I am totally dependent on clean air, clean water, and clean food to nourish my body. I am also totally dependent on God, the Great Spirit, the Great IT, the Universe, or whatever you want to call a Higher Power. I would be dead if I could not hear the whisper inside me.
Now don’t get me wrong, I understand that people can get enmeshed in toxic ways and form unhealthy, neglectful, and abusive relationships. That is what it is though, not codependency that self help gurus are making a killing on. Which ultimately feeds off genuine needs we all have, and then inverts those needs to have that person stuck feeling guilty for having real needs and wants with other human beings that are healthy and real.
It is doing honest relationships and being straight up with each other in mutual dignity, respect, care, and concern for each other that makes it healthy and workable, or some type of abusive or neglectful relationship.
It’s okay to be dependent on other people. We used to be in tribes where the social bonds were strong, and we raised people in a community from birth to death. All mutually looking out for each other in dependency.
I am incredibly lucky to be alive and celebrating over 4 years in recovery. As time goes on things become more clear, and make me more grateful for what I DO have. I know that one of the greatest yearning and longings is connection, community, having a family, and building relationships/joining groups with other who have shared values/goals and elevate each other.
If you hire me for a project, you depend on me to show up on time, on budget, and as I promised you in our work agreement. I depend on you to pay me on time and as we agreed upon, and keep your end of the deal. This is a business based and professional context where dependency is also how we mutually build a strong and workable professional relationship that serves both parties well.
The strawberries pictured below are dependent on being picked by humans or eaten by animals to spread their seed and provide the nourishing fruit they offer to animals and people. We as humans are dependent on our farmer to grow the strawberries and distribute them to local farmers markets and grocery stores.
This is the circle of life, and it is dependent based. We are codependent, and this is a good and healthy thing.
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